my little angel will watch over me

A couple of weeks back, I was so happy and excited when I found out that I am having a baby. You see, I am 43 years old and I married late. And this wonderful news is a "no brainer". I was the happiest woman in the world. I have given hope to a lot of "40-something" women who are dying to have a baby (mostly, my friends and some relatives) just as I did too, when they heard that I was getting married last year.

This is supposedly my first pregnancy. This will be a high-risk, as I was told by my Family Practitioner because of my age. And this will take a lot of precaution and care. But yesterday, my hubby had to bring me to the hospital because of my persistent cramps and bleeding. I LOST THE BABY.

It was really sad. I cried a lot in the hospital. But not as hard as my hubby did. But then, I had to accept it. I know things happen for a reason. I am thankful though... that, for a short period of time, I felt how it feels to be a mom... and a woman.

I am hopeful. And I am happy because I know I have now a "Little Angel" watching over me and there are more blessings yet to come. I have faith, that after this storm, sooner or later... I will be blessed with another life inside me.

driving me crazy

Yesterday, I took the driving written test at DMV office in Portland. I passed it and I finally have my driving permit. I can now drive my "baby" around with [of course], strict supervision of my instructor cum Hubby. The permit is good for 18 months and I got to take the actual driving test before it expires or else I will re-take the written exam.

It was not that hard to drive here in Maine. Somehow, I already know a bit about driving since I took a driving lesson back home about 3 or so years ago. But that one is irrelevant now. My Hubby kept picking on me how I got my Driver's license in the Philippines. He said that I got it from the "black market". I didn't, of course, I insist.

But then, come to think of it. I took the written test and passed it with flying colors. Why can't I, the guy gave me the questionnaire together with the answers and told me casually, "Here are the answers, just don't copy everything and make some wrong answers so that it will not be perfect." What the heck? I got my Student Driver's Permit and after 3 months applied for the Non-Professional Driver's License and got it. I didn't even took the actual driving test. So, I already have my Driver's License for 6 years before I actually learned to drive. Isn't it crazy?

Now, I had to do it the right way. I am not complaining. I got to be a responsible citizen of my adoptive country where I live now.

my hubby's trophy

Finally, after 5 months of waiting, Hubby's most prized 14-pointer buck finally came home. It was the "talk-of-the-town" for the entire hunting season.



The last hunting season was the best season so far for my Hubby. He has so much pride with his 250 pounds, 14-pointer buck that he shot straight on the left ear with his 270 Remington Rifle. This is his latest trophy. This is his latest achievement as a hunter. And this - is my only competition (Thanks God!)



For a while, it was hard for me to understand his passion. Everything was new to me. From where I came from, hunting is not a sports. So when I came here in Maine, it was really a culture shock. Honestly, I have not been in a zoo yet, that is why, I have not seen a real deer until one snowy morning in November. (Oh am so glad I had that digital camera on hand and had a chance to take that shot.)



And seeing a real live deer was indeed awesome. But seeing a dead deer was shocking. Oh well, I got over it sooner than I can imagine. I had to... I married a hunter. I had to... he is passionate about this sports. And I had to... because at least, the deer is my only competition.

christmas shopping in March

(I wrote this for my myLot discussion last March. I decided to publish this here because I got lots of responses for this and this will remind me of my obligation for the people I love.)


I know it sounds crazy. Christmas is still 9 months away. It is still winter here and you might think... "what the heck is she talking about Christmas this early? The fruit cake in the ref has not been touched yet!" LOL.

Well, it's normal to me. I start shopping for Christmas gifts as early as "after New Year's Day". Yup, when people are all taking their time out of shopping. When people are still unwrapping their gifts and some are still receiving gifts.

Why? Because...
1. There are lots of sale all over the place and we are not talking about 50% off... it is always 75% or more on almost all items. I saves me a lot of money.
2. There are less people shopping. I hate crowd that is why it is more convenient to me.
3. There is no line in the cashier. Again, it is more convenient. I hate waiting.
4. It saves me a lot of worries when Christmas comes. Now I only forcus on the food and other stuff for the stockings.
5. I get to relax on Christmas season, when all the people are frantic and crazy and panicking, I am enjoying a day in a Spa. LOL

Well, it sounds really crazy but I do it anyway, and I love it.

Hubby got me a new "baby"

My Hubby still can't get over his old GMC Sierra. Well, you already know about it. Anyway, whether he likes it or not, he has to get over it. But he needs a ride. He can't go to work without a vehicle. And since good o'l Sierra died down, he was playing hootie for a couple of days.

And so we went shopping a couple of days back. We went shopping for a new car. We went to get a new ride. But much to my surprised, this new car the he got is not for him. It is for me. The new "baby" is for me. He will just need the new "baby" to go to work while good o'l Sierra undergo extreme make-over.

Hubby still can't get over his old GMC Sierra. He bought the new car so that he can have his old "baby" towed away to the repair shop and get revived. He will have his old "baby" hauled away. And he will have his old "baby" rolled down the road again.

And so, I have a new "baby". It's a 2008 TOYOTA SCION xD. It's the cutest car I have ever seen. I love it because I can see the road behind the wheel. I love it because I can reach the pedal. I love it because it is pint size.

my hubby's "baby"... broke down!

My hubby's GMC Sierra finally died on him. He had this baby for over 10 years now and I can see in his eyes how bad he felt about it. It was his trusted friend, his most loyal companion and his silent witness to all his secret encounters with "God-only-knows-who-or-what-and-when".

After long years of good service, countless fun and adventures under the sun, and 300,000 mileage of runabout, it finally gave up. It finally broke down. It finally died on him.



I know it was not that easy. I began to love this "baby" too, despite the fact that it is always un-kept. Well, don't look at me. It's my hubby's baby. And it is his business to keep it clean. But then, I can't count on him. What do you expect? A carpenter always keeps his tools (and garbage) beside him. They're all over the cabin, on my seat, under my seat, behind my seat and all over where you can find space. I am not really proud. But he has no time for that. He just grabs his tools, works and yanks them back after and takes off.

I love this baby too because we always have it with us when we go camping, gold panning, tourmaline mining, hiking and ice-fishing. It was able to climb Mt. Washington and the Cathedral Ledge at New Hampshire.



But the years finally took its toll on it. It finally died on him and now parked in the driveway side by side with our beat-up and rusting but still reliable plow truck.



But, old automobile don’t die, as they say… THEY JUST HAUL AWAY.

the PLUS sign

Sleepless nights due to numerous trips to the bathroom made me sleepy all day. Missing my period last month didn't give me reason to worry much though because I used to having irregular periods when I was a bit younger. But a particular pre-menstrual symptom that I usually have week before my period has been there for the entire month. But still there was no reason to worry. It's too early to tell.

Why worry? I am [only] 43 years old and have not been a mom yet. So I don't really have any idea how it feels like. I am not nauseous nor do I have morning sickness or cravings. But my gut feeling told me other wise. I am getting too sensitive over simple and petty things. But still not reason enough to hope much less to worry.

Still, we bought the pregnancy test kit at Rite Aid. I mean hubby did, because I was having a pit that time and preferred to stay in the truck. I didn’t take the test immediately because I thought maybe I’ll do it first thing in the morning. But after awhile I decided to take the first test (anyway, there are 3 sticks in the kit so I might as well have a test run, so I thought).

I followed the instruction well and the result was quick… the + sign was clear. I thought I will take another test tomorrow morning. Maybe, it will be negative then. I woke up at 4 am for my regular trip to the bathroom and I grabbed the second stick. Followed the instruction again… and the + sign was again clear. So I got two in a row now.



I took the last test again this morning and still it is on the plus sign. I grabbed the phone and scheduled an appointment with my doctor for a check-up to confirm it and to have a pre-natal consultation. Being in my 40s I know my pregnancy will be considered as high-risk. This is the only worry that I have. But with prayers from friends and people who care… I know, the baby and me will be safe.

Well, for now, my only proofs are the 3 tests that I took. I am indeed pregnant. I am having a baby. I will be a mommy… soon.

getting cold feet

I arrived here in Maine on the 29th of May last year (2007), a couple of days before my hubby's 50th birthday. He said, I was his most precious birthday gift. I believed him so.

My flights were all on time. Everytime went out alright. I have no complains except that the flight from Japan to New Jersey seemed to take forever. And I was sitting beside two Korean athletes with a funny smell but they were nice people. The long queue at my port of entry in Newark, New Jersy took us almost two hours to pass through strict custom interrogation. Good thing I had 4 hours gap before my last connecting flight to Portland Jetport.

I was on a fiance visa, and as expected, we have to get married in 3 months time or else I will be deported back to the Philippines. Well, 3 months were enough for both of us to think and decide if we are really going to get married or not. That span of time gave us also the chance to know each other more because I had to admit, our long distance relationship is not enough for us to know each other despite the fact that we spent a lot of time online and on the phone. That is not enough for us to know if we were really meant for each other. But we had limited time. He wouldn't let me go and I was determined to stay and be with him no matter what.

It was not easy. We both have cold feet. We were both worried that things won't work out. We were both anxious. We had a few fights before the wedding date and that gave us both a second thoughts. We had a few misunderstanding before the wedding and that gave us both something to take into consideration. But we had a lot of special moments that gave us both the firm decision to go on with it. And we did.


My first lighthouse (Nubble Light). This is my first day in Maine.


With my [then] fiance at the Nubble Light. This is the first day of the rest of our life.


The Standish Town Hall where we got our Marriage License.


Where we got married. The Historical Portland Head Light at Fort Williams in Cape Elizabeth.

ice-fishing season is over

Ice-fishing season is officially over. We had four wonderful months of ice-fishing season here in Maine. With a total of 120 inches of snow accumulated this winter season... ice-fishing was a blast.

My hubby introduced me to a lot of his hobbies. But I love ice-fishing more. Despite the freezing cold, despite the waiting game, despite the hassle of dragging all our equipments to the frozen lake... I enjoy it a lot. I have lots of wonderful moments with my hubby during this season too. We ice-fish almost every weekends. Hubby was the most patient guy I have ever met. That is in terms of ice-fishing only. We would spend the whole day in the frozen lake playing the waiting game and still we never caught anything.

Now, it's finally over. And I have to wait for the next winter again to go ice-fishing. But for now, I will be looking forward to gold panning and tourmaline mining at Mt. Pica. I will be looking forward to weekend campings and hiking and ATV riding. I am ready for summer now. ^_^


One of the shacks in the frozen lake where the anglers hang out while waiting for the fish to bite.


Hubby calls this baby "The Ogre". This is what he used to drill a hole in the ice sheet where he will put the fish trap.


This is how the hole will look like after drilling and how the fish trap will be set.


Hubby is setting up the fish trap.


We usually ride the snowmobile going to the frozen lake. We sometimes set up a tent too and camp for the day.


My very first catch. Hubby calls it... the junk fish. I'm still proud of it, though.